


Why

by HaveAnExBestFriend



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:37:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveAnExBestFriend/pseuds/HaveAnExBestFriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I would have liked to have a chance to talk with her… I know that life it’s not easy, but, this whole world really ain’t that bad a place you know?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why

**Author's Note:**

> I know suicide it's not a joke, it's a sad thing and writing this doesn't mean that i don't take it seriously.  
> Based on Rascal Flatts's song Why  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3_85GXsKqk  
> Hope you like it, and again, all my respect about this topic.

It was 2:00 o’clock in the morning and suddenly Tobin’s phone started ringing. She turned around in the bed trying to ignore the sound but Alex moved her trying to wake her up.

-Tobin, it’s your phone, you must answer. 

-Hmm.. No.. It must be a joke like the other day.- She answered burring her face in the pillow. Alex sighed and reached the phone. When she could focus the ID, she opened her eyes and her heart started racing, for a strange reason, she knew that something wasn’t okay.

-Tobin… Is your sister… 

Alex knew that Tobin’s sister meant the world for her, so she didn’t get surprised when her girlfriend suddenly woke up and took the phone, sitting on the bed.

-Perry? What’s going on?. 

The forward sat by her side with her hand in Tobin’s lower back, showing her that she was there. She wasn’t able to listen the other side of the conversation, but, the midfielder’s face confirmed that something was wrong. 

-What… Perry, calm down… what happened?...... What? When? But she was fine… Oh my God.- Tears started falling down Tobin’s eyes and Alex was staring at her, waiting for some information. She didn’t listen anything else, she just took the phone when the oldest girl handed it to her, walking outside the room without saying a word.

-Tobin, what happened?.- But before she could follow her, she realized that Perry was still on the phone, so, with shaking hands she put it in her ear and talked.

-Perry? Are you there?

-Hi Alex.- She said sobbing.- Where is my sister?

-She… she just gave me the phone and went out of the room... crying... Perry, what is going on?

-It’s Jenna… Tobin’s niece… She… She just committed suicide this night…- Alex’s heart almost stopped when she heard that. A week ago, they went to visit Tobin’s family and there was this girl, this beautiful girl who was always around her girlfriend, asking her to go out with her, to play, to watch a movie with her and for the way Tobin looked at the little girl she realized that she was so special for her.

-Wh… what?... Oh God Perry, I’m so sorry.. I don’t know what to say or do..

-Just, take care of her okay? I know Tobin is strong, but… I don’t know if this is too much for her… I will call again in the morning… 

-Fine… I will take care of her, I promise... Night Perry…. - But the other girl had already hang on the phone. 

Alex took a breath and closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears because she knew she had to be strong for her girlfriend in that moment. When she finally calmed down herself, went downstairs and walked to the living room, being guided by Tobin’s sobs. 

-Oh my God Tobin, what are you doing?!.- Alex asked almost without voice when she saw the midfielder in the couch with a knife on her right hand holding it so close to her left wrist and with tears in her eyes, but she didn’t moved.

-This is so easy Lex- She answered with a whisper, without looking up. - It could be mi wrist, my neck… my heart, and just would take a few minutes before I could… die.  
Alex was staring at her, speechless and breathless, not knowing what was going on in Tobin’s mind.

-But it’s so scary at the same time… such an act of bravery or cowardice, I don’t know… it feels so cold- She said putting the knife against her skin.- And so lonely

-Tobin, please… you’re not alone, I’m right here. - The forward got closer to her girlfriend and she knelt in front of her, crying and took her hands between hers, putting away the knife.  
-But she was Alex… She was alone, she felt lonely and I couldn’t do anything, I wasn’t there.- Her voice cracked in the last words and Alex took her in her arms, sitting by her side allowing her to hide her face in Alex’s chest.- I… I had no idea… she looked fine, quiet, but fine. - Tobin said sobbing. 

-It’s not your fault Tobs… You couldn’t know… 

Tobin continued sobbing and grapping her arms around Alex so hard that it was starting to hurt her… But Alex didn’t care about it, she just wanted to help. Time passed, and Tobin could talk again…

-She was son young, 17 years old… How can you think that nothing worth it at that age? Who told her that? I thought she was happy, with all that energy… Maybe she was just trying to pretend.- The oldest girl said in a whisper meanwhile her girlfriend was rubbing her back, kissing her head and whispering love words into her ear. – Why Alex? Why?

Alex didn’t know what to say… It was a really difficult question… there was no answer because no one would ever know about the real reason, but she couldn’t say that… She had to think about something better than that.

-Do you want to pray? I mean… for… her… We can do it together- Tobin looked up, a little confused.

-Pray? You never pray Lex…

-I can do it… Or I can be here with you, if you want… Or wait upstairs… - Tobin put her hands in Alex’s cheeks softly.

-I would love if you stay here and pray with me. – The forward nodded, took her girlfriend’s hand and closed her eyes to listen.

\- Bless, O God of eternal life, all who have died by their own hand. Grant them peace from their inner turmoil and the compassion of your love. –Alex squeezed Tobin’s hand tightly and felt tears in her cheeks. - Comfort those who mourn their loved ones. Strengthen them to face the questions of pain, the guilt and anger, the irreparable loss. Help us to reach out in love to others who prefer death to the choices of life and to their families who grieve. Amen.

Both girls stood in silence for a while, holding each other’s hands, until Tobin broke the silence and smiled. 

-She’ll be fine… I’m so sad because she would never realize what a wonderful world is this... full of people who loves you, and supports you… But, I know that she is okay right now, God will take good care of her and I guess she had a reason… I can’t judge her… - Alex hugged her and kissed her cheek. 

-That was so beautiful Tobs, I can’t even describe it… 

-I would have liked to have a chance to talk with her… I know that life it’s not easy, but, this whole world really ain’t that bad a place you know? 

-I know honey, I know… And I’m so glad I have you by my side… You make everything worth it… 

A while later, they went to bed and Tobin leaned hugging Alex and with her head resting on her chest. 

-Lex… I’m so sorry if I scared you later… I was just trying to understand… It wasn’t my intention 

-Shh… Don’t worry about it, baby… Just sleep okay?

-Alex?

-Yeah?

-Will you be here? 

-I will always be here… I won’t let you alone, I promise… I will be here when you wake up, won’t let you go, honey. I love you

-I love you too, baby horse…- She barely whispered before falling asleep in her lover’s arms, feeling safe and loved… because by Alex’s side, everything was worth it… And she didn’t have to ask why.


End file.
